0^10=0

chickenpaprika: My dearest loves, Robbie an Mima.

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 19:14:36 -0700

My dearest loves, Robbie an Mima.

daily bible study

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 15:36:00 -0700

‘Abram and his wife Sarai were wandering through a desert when they came unto Egypt. “Sarai,” Abram said, “You’re a seriously hot bitch. I bet these crazy Egyptians will kill me and sodomize you into ground beef if they know we’re married, so I’m going to tell everyone you’re my sister.”
Soon word of Sarai’s seriously hot bitchiness reached the pharaoh, who called Abram and Sarai into his HQ. “Abram,” said the pharaoh, “Your sister is one seriously hot bitch. I’d like to buy her from you!”
“Okay,” said Abram, “Whatcha got?” Then the pharaoh gave Abram a shitload of sweet animal friends and Abram gave him Sarai.
Soon afterwards, God fucked pharaoh and his house right in the face with a bunch of plagues, and pharaoh called Abram back in. “Abram,” the pharaoh said, “I am getting the absolute shit plagued out of me because you told me this woman, who is your wife, was your sister and I just took her for my wife, if you catch my drift. I’m not super keen on getting plagued, so take your bitch asses out of here. You can keep the sweet animal friends, just get the fuck out.”
Then Abram and Sarai left with their animal friends and, it turns out, a lot of silver and gold, while pharaoh presumably had the bodies of his family burned to slow the spread of the contagion.

I guess the punchline is that people believe in the moral supremacy of this venal, self-interested, wife-selling, abhorrent excuse for a human being. The good news is, if I start whoring you out to wealthy men who all come down with catastrophic syphilis afterwards, I’ll be a better Christian than I am right now, I guess. Something to look forward to?

I guess technically people couldn’t be sodomized back then because Sodom hadn’t gone down yet. Speaking of which, here’s another joke for you:
The Lord shows up in Sodom with a blowtorch, and one of the intrepid residents entreats Him thus: “Lord, if You didn’t want us to buttsex, why did You give us butts?” To which The Lord replied, “I like it when you poop.” And then He burned the whole fucking place and everyone in it.’

-Robbie Eberhart-Garah

rhamphotheca replied to your photoset: and my favorite color is reddd slut. thanks baby I...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 23:21:00 -0700

rhamphotheca replied to your photoset: and my favorite color is reddd

slut.

thanks baby I try

and my favorite color is reddd

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 17:46:36 -0700

and my favorite color is reddd

I don’t see the point of putting hash tags in the captions/descriptions of posts. I really...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 21:40:18 -0700

I don’t see the point of putting hash tags in the captions/descriptions of posts. I really don’t.

I love my Maya snake.

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 17:04:37 -0700

I love my Maya snake.

Sketch for an illustration of a lovely poem by Robbie...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:15:00 -0700

Sketch for an illustration of a lovely poem by Robbie Eberhart-Garah.

My Facebook Portfolio

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 21:36:00 -0700

My Facebook Portfolio:

Because I keep getting commissions, I decided that I should finally set up a good networking page for my artwork. Tumblr is good for meeting people I don’t know and who don’t want to talk to me (except a select few), but not great for actually propagating my art so much. So if any of y’all are on facebook, feel free to check out my new page!

Some unsettling self portraits

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 22:31:03 -0700

Some unsettling self portraits

perfunctesoterika: oh wait i thought of another ethnic joke. An African-American man is driving...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:32:44 -0700

perfunctesoterika:

oh wait i thought of another ethnic joke.

An African-American man is driving down the street when a police car hits the lights behind him, so he pulls over. The police car stops behind him and the officer walks up to his window and says, “Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Well”, the man says, “I’m young and black and I’m driving an expensive car in a poor neighborhood and I have a hat, so you probably assume I’m transporting drugs.”
“Good guess,” the officer says. “Are you?”
“Let me answer your question with another question,” the man says. “I’m from a poor neighborhood that has traditionally been employed in industry, but as manufacturing jobs have moved out of the country the poverty level, already high in the wake of codified segregation and discrimination, has worsened dramatically. Severe underfunding in local schools has been compounded by a synthetic consumer culture custom-made to compel black people to pursue a life of unattainable hedonism which can only possibly be approached with criminal careers. This and other factors create an event horizon of bias, misunderstanding, and distrust which make it impossible to escape and find legal work or opportunities elsewhere. So what do you think I’m transporting?”
The officer, having heard enough to feel confident he has probable cause, performs an exhaustive search of the vehicle. Finally, convinced that nothing illicit is inside, he says, “I thought you said your were trafficking drugs!”
“I can’t afford drugs,” the man replies. “Why do you think I’m stealing cars?”

great now i know three jokes i hope that wasn’t offensive just to clarify i don’t like white people very much that’s okay cause i am one and frankly who does.

perfunctesoterika: it turns out ethnic jokes NEVER GROW OLD maybe this one will be more accessible...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:32:26 -0700

perfunctesoterika:

it turns out ethnic jokes NEVER GROW OLD maybe this one will be more accessible because we know ALL ABOUT Muslims huh?

So Ibn Khaldun was visiting Damascus with his friend Faraj ibn Barquq and they decided to stop in at one of the local restaurants. The owner was an old friend, and Ibn Khaldun greeted him enthusiastically. “You know,” he said, “I love this place! My family has been coming here for three generations, and the food just keeps getting better.”
As soon as he’d said this the owner broke down in tears and collapsed on the floor, sobbing. Ibn Khaldun could make nothing of this, and inquired what was bothering him. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”
“Oh, you’re a great man, Ibn Khaldun, it just breaks my heart to know that you’re the last of your line who will ever dine at this establishment,” the owner replied.
Ibn Khaldun could make nothing of this, either. “What do you mean?”
Before the owner could answer, though, the door of the restaurant slammed open and The Great Turk, Timur stepped through with half a regiment of soldiers who kept pouring in until every seat at every table was full.
“I thought you knew,” the owner said. “I’ve never had a member of any family stay on after the third generation!”

AHAHAHA get it? Oh man maybe you had to be there.

perfunctesoterika: I finally thought of an ethnic joke: Three Russians walk into a bar. It’s hard...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:32:17 -0700

perfunctesoterika:

I finally thought of an ethnic joke:
Three Russians walk into a bar. It’s hard to specifically identify Russians, though, and most of us aren’t familiar with common Russian mannerisms, so it’s no one’s sure they’re Russian. The bar is in Russia, though, so it’s a pretty safe bet that the three people who just walked into it are Russian. Or maybe they’re tourists, but probably not since they don‘t have the shifty, permanently discomforted look of people who live in constant fear that they’ll have to try to carry on a conversation in a language they hardly know. There’s probably twenty to one odds that all three are Russian, unless they’re second or third generation immigrants, although that raises unanswerable questions about whether Russians could remotely be considered a single genetic clade, which is almost definitely not the case. Probably there are lineages in southeast Asia that are more closely descended from Russia than some of the lineages geographically located in Russia now. So probably it’s best to ignore their genealogy for the most part and consider whether they’re culturally acclimated to Russia.
Anyway. These three people walk into a bar. One of them asks for a glass of water. One of them asks for a glass of milk. And the third one asks for the same. All in fluent vernacular. So I’d say they’re definitely Russian.

And now I know two jokes.

Weekly Robbie Newsletter 412

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:54:43 -0700

perfunctesoterika:

My housemate was sitting in the Interzone (coffee shop) a few months ago when a boy in his late teens or early twenties came in and stood in line. After a minute he coughed awkwardly, as men do, excused himself to the girl in front of him, and told her that she was wearing a very pretty dress, at which point she did what any self-respecting girl would do: she turned about, slapped him in the face, and stalked out. Most of the customers, who had not heard what he said, started to mutter about what awful thing he must have done, and he skulked off with a healthy glow of shame moments later. I wasn’t surprised when Gillian told me about that - slapping men is a woman’s prerogative, I suppose - but it did strike me that there are relatively few types of assault in which the victim is assumed to be the aggressor and the assailant is assumed to have been threatened.

Read More

i just adore these newsletters. follow Robbie’s tumblr to keep up with his most excellent writing developments.

freedraw babe time.

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:23:04 -0700

freedraw babe time.

Photo

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 13:15:22 -0700

more eyez 3/11

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 04:42:08 -0700

more eyez 3/11

uh oh 3/11

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 04:40:48 -0700

uh oh 3/11

grrrr 3/11

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 04:39:13 -0700

grrrr 3/11

foggy crap

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 04:37:53 -0700

foggy crap

giant eyeballs, 3/11

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 04:33:00 -0700

giant eyeballs, 3/11